Friday, September 27, 2013

A Mother's heartache............

Motherhood is a gift by god to all the human beings and enjoying the feelings of motherhood  is the greatest gift ever gifted to the womankind. A child  feels secure in the hands of mother because no matter what a mother will always protect her child and give the best she can. For her the child matters the most and nothing is more important than her child as she understands the feeling without having to be spoken, she knows the best of her child and will always stand by the child in  good and bad times.When I was expecting I use to feel my over-sized belly and used to talk  and share of how I felt. It is said "When you are a mother, you are never alone in your thoughts. A mother has to think twice, once for herself and twice for her child ." So  I thought of my child every time and always promised to be with her and teach her and give her the best of everything. But looking back now, it feels like I haven't kept my promises. 

I feel sorry for my daughter for she has got an helpless Mama who is not with her when she needs her the most. "We never know the love of parent until we become parents ourselves" has been truly stated since i now realize the pain and the loss of being a parent. We never really understand unless we get ourselves into the shoes of others. The pain of being away from their kid is something no one can imagine. Oh! it was the worst pain I have ever undergone and if granted a wish I would wish to be back with my daughter and always be with her. Last night I talked to my daughter over the face book video chat and I was happy to see her since its been more than three days that I haven't met her online. The night I met her I just asked about her well being from my mum but she said my baby has got cough and cold and constipation. Oh! My God! I was wondering why god couldn't wait to give the pain one by one rather than punishing her all together at once. And on top of that when I heard that my daughter didn't sleep well due to cough and fever, my heart wept thinking about my absences when she was in pain. I know her grand parents are doing their best but I felt like I need to be there with her in times like this. It hurts a lot when I hear about her unsound health. Even the constipation gave her lot of pain and I can't imagine to see her in pain at this small age. I prayer to god to let me share her pain and sufferings so that I can at least see her happy and enjoying her childhood. When I write the above lines I remember the quote by Abraham Lincoln "I remember my mother's prayer and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life" I too wish my daughter to be healthy, happy and successive in her life and no matter what let all my prayers and wishes be clung onto her whole life too. 
I really feel sorry for my daughter since she misses me a lot and needs me the most. She was at a stage where she is learning many new things but I am not there to teach her nor her Papa . Oh! what worst fate can any parents expect in life than having to stay away from their child? Sometimes I really curse myself and my insane interest in  further studies. After all it was the root cause of all these loneliness, sufferings and pain  of my little daughter and myself. I beg for my daughter's forgiveness.......

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